For almost all the couples I provide divorce mediation services to, ongoing quarrels and differences over money are frequently cited as one of the primary reasons for their marriage problems. I also find that couples are even more uncomfortable talking about their differences with regard to money than almost any other issue, including sexual dissatisfaction. For these reasons, I think it is worth exploring the psychology of money, both within the context of relationships and marriage, and in the context of the process of divorce.
We inherit money behaviors and attitudes from our families and other influential people in our lives. According to social learning theory, spending behaviors can be viewed as learned behavior that is passed from generation to generation. Some of these behaviors may be influenced by religious teachings or cultural norms.
According to psychologists D’Astous and Forties, spending behaviors and their patterns have been conceived as existing along a continuum running between two poles. One pole represents the “holding on” behaviors, or a preoccupation with the acquisition and hoarding of money while the other pole represents the obsessive spending of money:
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